A month or so ago, I was talking with a friend about the whole Facebook, MySpace, Twitter phenomena and the business of blogging – whether it was appropriate for me to do it. I was concerned that perhaps I was opening myself up to situations that I might not like. I was worried that clients might feel free to openly discuss things that should not be discussed publicly. I started worrying that not-so-friendly friends/relatives/etc. of clients might not have the best intentions were they to contact me.
This is a friend whose opinion I value. Her take: it’s all an ego trip – an ego trip that causes more problems than it’s worth. After considering that point of view, I felt rather bad. I thought perhaps I should just shut it all down. And I did – everything, that is, except for the blogging. Eventually I got back on Facebook – if only to remain in touch with family, friends and other who are far away or whom I don’t see regularly. I also occasionally “tweet” as can be seen here and on my other blog, which is a mirror image of this one.
I didn’t stop blogging because, although her point about it being an ego trip, is undoubtedly true, blogging for me (and I expect for many) has a therapeutic value. I started blogging because a few years back, my older kids were blogging and that was their way of allowing me to visit what was going on in their heads. I was experiencing all sorts of things – with work, my spiritual life, and my family life- that were confusing the hell out of me. I figured if I talked about “things,” I could figure out a way to make sense of them. I wrote short poems, using the least number of words I could to describe what was going on in my crazy head. Those blogs are no longer in existence. Over time, I started blogging because I wanted to keep a diary online – a memento, if you will, of the times of my life and that of my family. I really didn’t expect anyone to really give a darn about it – it was really no ego trip, just a way to look at our life together as a family – and separately as individuals. (OK, yeah, and to document some of my knitting stuff, LOL:)).
A few years ago, I wrote about the fact that often people who cannot express themselves in person to others in their lives can often say in the written word what is in their hearts. I thought of W.C. Fields – the movie actor who was notorious for hating kids – and the movingly loving letters he wrote his own son. For me, blogging is a way to stop for a second, take a look at this life we lead, and try like hell to make sense of it. Maybe it’s a way for me to tell the people I love how much I love them.
Both before and after law school, life was a struggle – a serious struggle – for survival, physical, emotional, and spiritual survival. It was a balancing act and I was constantly dropping the ball. Never was everything where and what it should be. It is not hyperbole when I tell you that just thinking about those times exhausts me. There was barely time to communicate with my own husband, let alone to stop and smell the roses.
Now, I have just a little more time. Or maybe I don’t – who knows? But I do know one thing: whoever said that the unexamined life is not worth living had something ….
So, dear readers, take what you want from this and leave the rest. I love you all.
God be with you ’til we meet again!