Monday Monday, can’t trust that day…

Today was not a difficult Monday – a good thing, too, because I didn’t get much sleep last night.  I think I had all of four hours of sleep and then a brief nap this afternoon (and I’m not a big nap person – wish I were).  This weekend has been one of contradictions on so many levels.  On Saturday, I did not go to the Sip ‘n Knit, rather I stayed home and chilled out, doing nothing but knitting.  The Solstice yarn is knitting up beautifully.  Right now, the shawl looks like a pile ‘o knitting havoc, but I have faith that it will be a thing of beauty come blocking time. I figure it will take 145 rows of 315-319 stitches per row, this including cast on and bind off.  I have until Friday, April 3rd to finish it.  This means I MUST do 7.25 rows per day.  So far, I’ve been on target, give or take a row. You KNOW I’ll be up all night on the 3rd doing this, but that’s OK. It’s a pretty Classic Elite yarn and it’s really a joy to knit.  

Yesterday was a triumphant .performance by the Orchestra of St. John’s and I was happy to help in any way I could – setting up chairs, moving music stands, selling tickets at the door and finally getting up into the choir loft to listen to the most awe-inspiring accoustics.  Those old architects knew what they were doing when the constructed churches! They (the Orchestra, not those mid019th-Century played Brandenburg Concerto No. 3 – and included one of my favorites – the Allegro third section.  Then they played Mozart’s Eine Kleine Nachtmusik (Serenade in G for strings), and the heart-rending Adagio for Strings by Samuel Barber.  Finally, outstanding string students from our area played along side the professionals for Tchaikovsky’s Serenade in C for Strings. After receiving a richly deserved standing ovation, Ron Mutchnik entertained the audience with a whimsical quote of Al Jolson/Eddie Cantor’s “If You Knew Susie” in the style of Mozart. The audience were delighted and I can safely say a good time was had by all.  Colleagues, friends, fellow churchgoers and community members were present.  The concert was a success and I am so happy for Nancy and Ron and all the Orchestra players!
Afterwards, there was cleaning up and striking down and some of us went to dinner.  The more I think about that dinner, even as delightful as the company was, the more I think I shouldn’t have.  John was home and what I didn’t know was that all save one of our progeny were home. Luckily, I left at a decent hour and was able to have a nice visit with the grand girls and to have a chat with K to see how she was feeling. By the time all was said and done, I had fallen asleep on the chair in the den, and woke up to John having already gone to bed and the kids finishing up a game in the kitchen and starting to head home.  I finished up the dishes and did a little knitting to keep on schedule, answered e-mails, got my file ready for today and toddled up to bed.  By the time my head hit the pillow it was 4 AM! The alarm rang all too soon at 7:30.  I managed to squeak out of bed and hit the shower by 7:45 and was in court early enough to be prepared.
Geez, no wonder I was tired this afternoon, LOL!
Since yesterday, I have been feeling very sad.  I don’t like to write about negative things here, and really, it’s nothing negative about anyone.  It is just is.  I know that for some reason, I’ve offended a friend, someone I thought was one of my best friends.  I could point to a bunch of different things that on their own add up to nothing more than vague paranoia, but put together ad up to that subconscious observation that some might call intuition.  The problem is, I don’t know what specific thing I’ve done. There are things about this that hurt terribly, but I don’t want to discuss them here.  I just feel terribly alone right now, so I’m not blogging as much as I usually do.  I’ve lived before this person and no doubt I’ll live after.  Please don’t get me wrong: family is so important and I love them dearly, but they are at that point where they have their own lives – and that’s as it should be.  So friends become very important and when that goes wrong, I feel very lost.  Right now, honestly it feels like I’ve been dropped into some alternate universe where the rules have completely changed on me. I’m not looking for sympathy, just writing about this to try to make some sense of it. As if:)
I am hoping to find out the results of Friday’s “bibopsy,” but as one dear person said to me, “don’t worry until you have to” and that is excellent advice which I can well do when it concerns myself. Not so easy when it concerns one’s offspring.
Oh well, this thing is getting silly, so I’d better sign off now.  Until next time, dear 3.5 readers (or those of you who are still awake), God be with you ’til we meet again.

Published by fuguestateknits

Wife of one, mother of six, Grammy to eight (so far) and lawyer for many young persons, I love to sing, read, knit and walk. My politics are somewhat left of Marx and I want to hear what you think, too!

6 thoughts on “Monday Monday, can’t trust that day…

  1. Good advice about not worrying till you have to, but a little difficult to put into action sometimes. I am sorry about your other issue. I hope it will work out. Someone in my choir, whom I considered a friend had been acting oddly cold to me lately, and I can’t imagine what I have done to offend her. I am not sure if I am being overly sensitive or not. It is difficult. However, unlike you in your situation, I am not that sad about it, just annoyed.

  2. My mother, holds a doctorate in “Worry” and my darling father used to say to her, “Worry is the interest you pay on a debt that never comes due.”
    Insightful words but difficult to put into practise. I am working on my PHD..*rueful smile
    Waiting for things to come to pass is stressful. I know I am a fine one to say this but just try and let go of it , even a little. Things due tend to work out. The church looks beautiful I wish I had been there.

  3. Not to run counter to the wisdom of fuggedaboudit, but I agree with you how important friends are. Here’s my 2 cents (or 0.0002 cents in today’s market). Instead of trying to figure out (or imagine) what you’ve done to offend your friend…ask. Nicely, but ask. “Things seem different between us lately…have I done something to upset you? If I did, it was unintentional and I’d really like to know so I don’t make the same mistake again (with you or anyone else).” I’m one of those painfully direct people who does occasionally offend without meaning to and I know I’ve dropped some friends (no regrets on those) who have offended me and I never told them why. If they had asked, I would have told them and then we could have decided together to repair the bridge or finish torching it. If you value the friendship, I think it’s worth asking. Your friend’s answer (or not) will tell you how much (if any) value she places on the friendship and on maintaining an honest relationship.

    For what it’s worth, I tried this with the reader I THINK I pissed off with the deer hunting post on my blog and she would never tell me what exactly I had done to offend her. Not that I necessarily would have apologized (it is MY blog), but I did try to reassure her that I hadn’t meant to offend or hurt feelings. She chose to stop reading and not tell me and to that I say “oh well”…but fugey, if this reader had been you, I probably would have pressed the issue a little more because I consider you a little more than a ‘casual’ reader over at lambandfrog.

    Sorry to re-open a closed issue and I don’t want you to worry yourself sick, but friendships are important and worth preserving when possible (sometimes it’s just not possible). Hope that makes sense and, as always, feel free to ignore my unsolicited advice! 🙂

  4. Amber = and you know I’d give you an answer. I’m too transparent not to, LOL:)
    Good point and this friendship is worth very much to me – or “besser gesagt” as they say in Deutschland – this PERSON means very much to me. So I will, when the time is right. I don’t want to hurt her feelings if I’m wrong. I think that’s what the hesitation is. But you’re right. People are too important to just dismiss! In fact, our country is learning that people matter more than money – quite a thought, isn’t it? Let’s hope we learn that lesson before it’s too late!
    Thanks so much for posting – I really really appreciate it!
    Joan a/k/a FSK

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