Slow Going and "Giving UP"


As you will soon see, dear 3.5 readers, the title belies the true intent of this post:).  The baby blankie for Kristin and Sonny’s baby is growing at about the same rate of the baby as you can see. And as you can also probably see, my desk isn’t getting any neater!  I am able to do about five to ten rows a day.  For now that’s ok. But it is driving me a little crazy.  I think Colin has a point.  When one starts too many projects, one forgets where one is, especially in these patterned things.  So… I have decided (for now) to focus primarily on three of my projects: (1) the ribbon lace scarf for Donna (hopefully will be done while there’s still a use for it!; (2) the Daily Sweater for moi (even I need to keep warm some times, LOL); and (3) this blankie.  As (1) and (2) are finished, I shall add in two more to replace them – most likely something for SWMBO’s birthday and another ongoing project!
Since Tuesday evening, I’ve been very busy – not getting a lot done per se, but running around, getting more done than I realized.   I have helped somewhat with the mailings for the Orchestra Concert on March 15th and am really happy to be going to that – now that I’ve bought my ticket! Wednesday started with a visit to DSS to review a videotaped interview of one of my clients, doing paperwork at the office and arranging for visits.  Thursday, I worked it out so that I could cover a case for a colleague on Friday in exchange for her covering my one hearing that morning. So, instead of going to court, I was able to visit two clients.  That evening I stopped back at the church to help finish up with the mailings and visited briefly with Nancy and Rennie.  Friday, I was in court morning and afternoon and actually visited a client in another county between the dockets.  So, although it was a busy day, it was fairly productive.  But by the afternoon, when it was time to come home, I was fried!  John had done a little grocery shopping and was ready to fix his dinner and, bless his heart, had brought home some wine.  I didn’t feel bad having a glass or two since I had been abstaining all week and it was at the end of a crazy week.  After knitting my five rows on the aforementioned blankie, I vaguely remember my head hitting the pillow.
This morning, up again to be ready for the grandgirls at 8 and then off to visit a client by 9 and sang hymns with some of the choir for the funeral of a fellow former choirmember.  Then home to relieve John of babysitting duties (he had been up all night, remember!).  Daughter D, mother of the grandgirls, woke up around 2 pm after doing night work at the 911 call center.  We chatted for a while and then she took her girls home.
[Insert breath here: ‘]
Ahhhhh….
It is sooooo quiet! John is asleep, S is upstairs working on a paper.  J is working at Panera and I am sitting here, typing, getting back in touch with my brain (what’s left of it:)).
My desk is a mess, I need to switch calendars, and get my calendar up to date.  In another half hour John will be up and we will be going to see our son, D, at his latest acting endeavor and taking him and his GF, C, to dinner.  I’m looking forward to the evening, but for right now, I am enjoying sitting here, typing my thoughts and picking away at my (figurative!!!) navel lint.
Which brings to mind the second theme of this post (theme? what theme?):
“Giving up”is apparently going to be the theme for March’s NaBloPoMo – you know, that thing where one is supposed to blog every day for that particular month?  Well, as one may be aware, my performance on that score has not been exactly stellar for February, but what the heck I’ll give it a shot.  
As I read what the theme for this month was, however, at first I was somewhat taken aback. “Give up? I thought! That’s supposed to be a bad thing, isn’t it?”  But then this past Wednesday I started to think about giving up in another light, for Wednesday was Ash Wednesday – the day in the Xian calendar that begins the 6 weeks of fasting and repentance in preparation for Easter. So I thought about the thing we as children used to talk (and later as adults joke) about with regard to Lent: What are you giving up?  
I remember in elementary school, friends would grimly tell me they had given up candy or cookies or treats.  Others of a more spiritual bent would “give up” fighting with their little brothers or vow to help their moms more by keeping their rooms clean.  Later, in college, I had this ongoing joke my freshman year with this senior Religion/German major named Roger B (who despite my evil influences I am happy to report is an Episcopal Priest in the Philadelphia area last I looked).  We decided to give up sex with each other.  Of course, we weren’t having sex with each other in the first place.   I was decidedly NOT Roger’s type and I already had a BF (who I am now married to).  Funny though: years later friends of mine who moved to the Philadelphia area and attended Roger’s church told me that when they brought my name up, he still referred to me as “crazy Joan.” Nice to know I’m still appreciated.
But getting back to giving up: I am going to give up talking spitefully about people behind their backs, even if I am angry at them  I am going to give up drinking alcohol during the week and I am going to make an effort to get up earlier than I have been, to be on time for things to the best of my ability.
But there’s another kind of giving up: giving up cherished but wrong notions.  Giving up the idea that I’m going to live forever.  Giving up when it makes crystal clear sense to do so.
Remember the Serenity Prayer?
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference.
All three are necessary for a healthy life and mind, but wisdom has to come first.
Tomorrow, the “other Joan” and I are being commissioned as Stephen Ministers.  Heaven help the poor slob who gets me, LOL:)  I hope she has a sense of humor! Keep your fingers crossed for me!  Tuesday, I have a doc’s appointment to find out about a physical issue I’ve been having. Hopefully it’s nothing more than a bothersome nuisance. For both these things, please keep your fingers crossed for me!
Well, that’s all I have for today, dear 3.5 readers.  Until next time, God be with you ’til we meet again!
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Author: fuguestateknits

Wife of one, mother of six, gram of five (so far) and lawyer for many young persons, I love to sing, read, knit and walk. My politics are somewhat left of Marx and I want to hear what you think, too!

7 thoughts on “Slow Going and "Giving UP"”

  1. I gave up talking spitefully about 2 specific annoying people one year, and while taxing at first, I found that once I got into it, it was easy. And I even came to like one of them. (I already liked the other – was just annoyed by her at times.) I could never give up talking spitefully about everyone though. It’s too fun and I am too mean-spirited.

  2. Here we call it ‘slagging off’ Joanna!
    As for giving up Joan, it really depends on what is trying to give. I am amazed at what I have given up and equally amazed by things I have discovered I need to give up like beating myself up. You could try not belittling yourself! You are a wonderful person who touches so many lives for the good. Those children will always know you saved them and they certainly would not agree with your low opinion of yourself. You are brilliant and you shine in this dark world. So there!

  3. Joanna I feel yer pain! For me it just means holding my tongue – very very hard – but I’m interested to see what will happen, LOL:)
    Colin – thank you for your kind words. I happened to read them sitting up in the choir loft this morning (taking a peek at my e-mail on the cellphone during a (sorry) sermon and I almost started crying. I don’t know if I’ve actually ever really saved anyone, but I try my best. Whether the clients know that or not is always up to chance. Some of them have grown up to be like their parents and decidedly detest me. But I take that as a compliment if you understand what I mean.
    Thank you for your kind comment – it meant the world!

  4. One glance at your works in progress shows me we are kindred spirits. when I want to rail at certain individuals my mother’s words,”Don’t lower yourself to their level” comes to mind. Sigh, I sometimes do it anyway. We will be OK…lol Emotion is better out than in. take care,
    Susan

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