To begin, I took NONE of the photos pictured here. I use them merely as illustrations – examples of that which I am writing about here. Anway:
I have this friend named Nancy. For the life me, I don’t know what she sees in me. For that reason and for many others which should, in time become evident, I view Nancy as a true friend:) Nancy, despite the fact that she has a life-threatening illness – or perhaps because if it – is very fit. She looks that crappy disease right in the eye and says a virtual (if not actual) “FUCK YOU!” (Note I am putting the expletives in quotes because we all know that no friend of mine
would EVER use such language (without at least two glasses of dry red wine under her belt)). She watches her diet, she works out like a madwoman, she trains with a fitness trainer. She walks and exercises on exercise machines at
home. She looks a lot like this:
Seriously, she really does. When I first met her, I thought she was about 20 years younger than she is. No joke! That’s because she does take care of herself but also because she really does have good genes. But she uses them so well!
I admire Nancy. Not because she’s good looking, but you see, I got to know her in a different context: she’s our church’s organist/choirmaster/music director a/k/a She Who Must Be Obeyed (“SWMBO” – a term lovingly – yes LOVINGLY – given her by her slavish followers – oops did I say that out loud – sorry Maaaster… – choir members who love her dearly. But seriously, I do admire her for her talents and her intelligence and her big heart – but most of all because she has the SICKEST SENSE OF HUMOR ON THE PLANET!
In spite of her extensive fitness training, and remember – Nancy looks like this:
And on winter walks like this:
She walks with me and is a friend – even though I look like this:
Or this on a really really good day (like when I was about 30 years younger, LOL:)) like this:
When we talk about fundraising for the church which shall not be named for fear of a lawsuit, LOL – we JOKINGLY sometimes talk about selling our, ahem, wares on 14th street in DC (hey, why not go to the top – yuck). Nancy’s customers would look something like this:
Whereas mine might look something like this:
(Hey guys, I’ll pay you back next week – I promise!)
(“Tragedy struck today on 14th street – stay in your homes and await further instructions”)
Praise be that we do not have to do that kind of work. The thought would be too much for words – “Ew!” is actually the only word I can conjure up right now, but you get the picture. Or I hope you don’t!
Anyway, Nancy is a wild woman, crazy, funny and really really cool – hell, she and I have both gotten over the fact that Hilary isn’t going to be Prez next year and are rooting for O’bama and she doesn’t mind the fact that I am a total socialist and John Waters fan. And we have tons of fun with Diane and Donna – friends of Nancy who have fast become dear to me, even though, yes, they tend more toward the conservative point of view but I love them all the more….
Anyhoo. Here’s a shot of Nancy and me heading for the beach – note the fashion statement I’m making on the left – well you KNOW that’s the only beachwear you’ll ever catch these thunderbuns in in public). OK, sorry, only kidding – NOT
Actually – there is a pic of my real thunderthighs in a bathing suit out there. In fact, I sent it to my kids and to Nancy in error – how embarassing – (At long last woman have you no shame????)
Anyway, this lovely, funny woman gets some small amount of exercise by walking with me the 2.4 miles around Centennial Lake. Of course, I huff and I puff and I take two breaks, but she bears with me. She gets her real run around the lake with friends on Sunday. Well, today, I finally got back into walking with dear Nancy. I didn’t do great, but it was OK – took me the
hour and some it usually takes her and the Sunday
company 38 minutes to
do. So needless to say, right now I feel like this (and my butt is comparable to that which the polar bear is not ashamed to show):
In fact, the only way I’ll be able to keep
up with the Sunday group (and I really really want to , really I do… ) is to walk like this:
You may wonder to yourself: Does this Nancy person have any faults at all? Of course, she told me today her ribcage is a bit large. “Pshaw” – I tell her – “That’s only because you have such a big heart:)” And folks, I really mean that:) no joke+