I’m sitting at home, in that quiet (for today at least) time between appointments and decided to post. Of course I could be cleaning up the kitchen, my desk, getting some work done, but that would make too much sense. Instead, I’m pouring out my heart to a computer screen (or not pouring out my heart, but wishing I could, LOL!).
Just had lunch with Connie at Bare Bones – a restaurant in Ellicott City. Saw her yesterday afternoon and we decided to do lunch. There was a chance I’d be needing to do an emergency hearing for her on Monday, but circumstances changed. So, instead, we nailed down what I was covering for her tomorrow and Monday and caught up, talking about the crazy people who populate the benches and bars of our various jurisdictions, shared pics of grandbabies and, when lunch was over, took our leave, promising when “this” (her sister’s bout with cancer which we believe of course will end positively) is over, we should get together with Ellen and maybe some other friends for a girls’ night out – you know, to pretend we really have lives.
I don’t have to pretend. I do have a life – a full one. I realized that since becoming a grandma and seeing my children grown up – and really they get much more interesting when they become adults – that my priorities have changed. Don’t get me wrong. I love my job and I do what I need to do to get it done as well as I can. But the events of the past week alone have opened my eyes to the importance of the people I hold nearest and dearest. And that includes the people I’ve gotten to know through work and church and other interests.
Nancy is very kindly letting me practice the bell parts I didn’t get to practice Tuesday evening when Rob and Lisa were in town. I’m also on call for shelters this afternoon – but it looks like I may be off the hook there. The one hearing I have my wonderful colleague is covering. Yet I feel guilty.
I feel guilty because I am basically taking today off. I feel guilty because on one of her busiest days, Nancy has taken time out to make provision for me. I feel guilty because my house is a mess and I should be moving.
But today anyway there are a few things I don’t feel guilty about. I don’t feel guilty because I am helping out a friend. I don’t feel guilty because I have stayed away from carbs today. And I don’t feel guilty because despite all my sins, I still have the capacity to love.
And that, as they say, is a good thing.
On the knitting needles: I’ve made some progress on Dori’s sweater (since poor Henry’s demise to the frog pond). What’s hard to see in the pictures is I’m doing a wide 5X1 rib for the body. Pretty soon, I’ll be adding my blue stripe. It’s going fairly quickly and shouldn’t take too long because she wants short sleeves (God bless her:)!)
I think I’ll do a few things before the next stop on today’s journey – and that will alleviate the guilt (some guilt is productive:)!). After practicing, I hope to get a little exercise in outside, then a visit with a client, then choir practice. By then, I’ll be too tired to feel guilty.