And I am not ready! It does feel closer to Christmas after choir rehearsal tonight. We ran through the Christmas Eve Service music and we actually weren’t half bad (except for going about a full tone south – arrgghh). I’ve decided to give it all my full concentration and to just do the best I can. This is the first year in a long time where I’m playing and singing (actually the first year ever for ringing and singing) and I’m nervous and excited and hoping my brain doesn’t fry when I need it the most. We’ve just started a first batch of Christmas shopping and most of it is online. With so many places offering reduced or free shipping and considering the cost of gasoline at this point, it is so worth it!
Last night was wonderful. It was very hard to watch the play. The Waverly Gallery is about an older woman who is declining and rapidly sinking into dementia. The word “Alzheimers” is never stated in the play, but that’s what it is. It’s about the family and their response. You find yourself liking these very real characters the actors are playing. And the play cuts very close to home. John’s mother died of Alzheimers ten years ago, so a lot of what we saw brought back some painful memories.
We had it easy, compared to John’s sister Holli and her husband Brian. “Grammy” lived with them up to about two weeks before she died when they simply could not care for her any more. We stayed with Grammy about a week, a couple of years before she died. She didn’t know who I was. She was hanging on to who John was. But she was so delightful. I always felt like I was blessed to get to know her that week. We were like childhood friends, playing, laughing.
Before that time, Grammy (Mabel) had raised nine children, and for half of that time, she had done it alone after her husband, John’s Dad, died. Life was not easy for her. John’s sister, Lori, was in a terrible car accident that rendered her completely disabled. She was close to death many times. In fact she also died six months after John’s Mom did. We often thought she hung on until Mabel died. So the fact that Mabel could be a child again was somewhat bittersweet. Mom/Grammy/Mabel always knew she was loved and we can all thank Holli – and all of John’s family for that. And we did love her.
Anyway, John and I were fighting back tears by the time the play was over. So was Danny – it was in his role. After the play, there was a brief presentation on Alzheimers by a psychologist – a Dr. McConnell I think – which was interesting. The audience, though sparse (it was a Wednesday night) were very involved and had some good observations and questions. I have to say it was one of Danny’s deepest roles emotionally and he did well – even if I am his mother!
After the play, we went out to dinner and talked awhile. We met Dan’s new GF. I haven’t said much about this in the blog because it is a painful thing for Dan and Tori, but both of them are now divorced. I’m not going to go over the details because it would violate their privacy, but it has been a painful experience and I am to this day not quite sure how to handle it, what relationship does one have with this family we all have joined after the primary relationship that caused that merge is now over? It was a nice evening. Then we all said good night and went on home.
John and I got home after 1:30. I don’t even remember my head hitting the pillow and before I knew, the alarm clock was ringing. Had to be at the workgroup meeting at 8:30, so I was out the door by 7:45 and worried I was running late – but I made it. Then to court all day. I’ve had many days like that, but for some reason I was wiped out when I got home. Dori stopped by with Mads and Ruby to borrow a camera to take their picture for Christmas, so we had a little visit. I must confess, I was a little too tired to be much fun for them and I feel badly about that. But I’m always glad that they come:) I did get some knitting – frogged the Hepburn sweater and restarted on circs casting on all sides. I doubt I’m getting it done before Christmas, so I may have to go out and buy something instead for Nancy – and that may be a good thing.
Tomorrow morning I have court and then I’m going to get a few errands run, maybe some wash or (GASP) flute prax. Then I’m going to the National Cathedral’s Christmas pageant thingie with Donna and Tom and Nancy and Rennie. I am really looking forward to it and will bring a camera or sneak pics in via cellphone to share with you, dear 1.5 reader(s). Too bad I can’t bring a tape recorder, LOL! The music should be lovely.
Saturday, I’ve got at least one, maybe two visits to do and the Christmas card thing to finish up.
Right now I think I’m going to crash.
About the friend thing – I’m not going to bore you any more with details unless it gets interesting. But I also will not pretend. It’s like a searing pain in my heart. When a friend hurts you it’s worse than when a lover does. Far worse. The sad thing is, I don’t know what I’ve done to cause it. OK, that’s enough already. I’m done.
+Good night angels!+