Death and Life

Well, it’s been a little while since I last posted. I’m writing so late at night because, believe it or not, it’s really the first time I’ve had a chance to do so. It’s been a solid week since I last posted. Haven’t really done much knitting, except for the odd stitch on the scarf you see posted here. I love the colors and yes, it’s out of some pretty sock yarn I found in one of my favorite LYS’s . Of course I have two others I don’t want to neglect, either! Anyway, it’s the beginning of the year, right? The time when we are supposedly in the depth of winter (at least those of us in the Northern Hemisphere, anyway). Yet, it’s also a time of beginnings. Hence the paradoxes, which seem to crop up everywhere!
Thursday, we had choir rehearsal, starting the New Year afresh. Had a long conversation with Nancy afterwards in the freezing cold parking lot catching up. (Dear Lord, will I EVER get a hot flash when I need it???) During the conversation, I couldn’t help but feel that there was something wrong. I so hate that feeling, (you know, the feeling that you’re having one conversation on the surface and a second one under water?) butI’ll figure out what it is at some point, maybe.
Friday, I had one court hearing – for another little angel. I am pushing for this little guy (who has his own medical issues) to be adopted. We’ll find out next month what direction his case is going. Then Saturday.
I work for children. I have the privilege of being their voice in court. But there is one Court of Appeal I really wanted to give a piece of my mind. The one Who decreed that a nine-month-old little boy should have the pain and suffering of leukemia. I don’t even know this little guy. What I do know is what I saw of his family this Saturday. They have the kind of faith that makes me want to weep. The faith of a little child who takes his or her parent’s hand trustingly even as they are being led to pain and suffering. And deep down I believe that God did not “do” this. What is it Paul says in I Cor. 13? “Now I see as through a glass darkly, but then I will see face to face. Now I know only in part, but then I shall know as I am known.” The choir sang at this memorial service for a young life that was extremely short. It was, as my dear husband says, “a tough one.” His family believes that he is in the care of God and they will see him one day again. That certainly gets my vote. The problem for the rest of us is getting on with the business of daily living and the “whys.”
I couldn’t help but think of some of the little angels I work for and especially the ones I couldn’t help. The three that died. The many who have run away, only to make their way through life emotionally injured. I pray for them every time children come to mind. I pray that they find that Companion who can give them the only real internal strength worth having. I pray that they find love, that they learn to give it. And I continue to ask God WHY? Not why does this happen, but my usual question of why have I been so lucky? Why was I blessed with loving parents, good health, and even when the horrible things in life happen, a circle of friends, family and love to carry me through?
Sunday, there was a baptism:) And the sun was out. I was going to go to an Adult Forum with Sue F., one of the altos, afterwards, but my durn bottom partial plate was digging into my gums (gross, I know) and I was in major pain. So Monday, back to the dentist, who kindly readjusted the thing and now I’m back in business.
One thing I’m determined to do this year is to continue the weight loss thing. I’ve continued with the walking and have cut down the carbs to a reasonable amount (as if!). John even walked with me today in the park. It was so cold, I had to move fast to stay warm:) John did this even with his back for which he may need surgery. Turns out, he has an old fracture, poor guy. I think it’s from that car accident from his college days in upstate NY.
Am getting ready for this week’s hearings and getting the calendar up to date as we go into 2007. So of course, my computer picks this week to crash so severely I had to reformat the (fairly new) hard drive (expletive deleted). Luckily, I store a lot of documents on an online storage which requires a password to access and was able to download a good deal of stuff, including an outlook backup, thank goodness! What a mess. So…. while waiting for a lot of stuff to download and install, etc. etc., I did a wee bit of knitting. (See below)

Please try not to pay any attention to the super disgusting mess on the desk – a function of stressing over getting work done and getting work onto the computer!

Well, it is getting very late, so good night, angels!


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s