Not necessarily my future, but food for thought



“What is Great Purple?” asks Japanese poet Nanao Sakaki in his book Let’s Eat Stars. Is it “a piece of purple sky floating in my lover’s eyes?” he speculates. “A cloud made of purple wine passing over Mt. Fuji? The color of a full-blooming magnolia’s root? The shadow of a star visible only to birds? The light of the last water you drink?” I invite you, Aquarius, to brainstorm your own answers to the question “What is Great Purple?” According to my reading of the astrological omens, you now have a special relationship not only with plain old everyday purple, but with sublime, magnificent, life-changing PURPLE. It’s a perfect moment to develop a closer relationship with whatever Great Purple means to you.

Great Purple. Hmmmmm. Like the Great Pumpkin?:)

It’s funny. The last year and a half has been a series of so many ups and downs. I have had an experience that has changed my idea of self forever. I have gained a number of wonderful friends, changed churches, grown (I hope) spiritually, matured (again, I hope). My relationships with my children has changed somewhat, dear God I hope for the better. My relationship with my husband remains a mystery. What is Great Purple to me? Deep Purple? That sense of being awestruck and small as you are enveloped in closeness to the Divine. Awestruck because it includes an element of fear and “get me outta here.” That dark place where you realize you can never be all you were intended to be and it’s still OK, because you have more time than you thought (eternity). That sense of being on the brink of understanding it all and then you wake up from the dream, the answer eluding you. Of looking through a glass darkly. Of hoping against hope that the author of the Universe truly is Love. Of being humbled by the acts of mercy in the guise of the everyday and mundane. But the good news is it isn’t just purple. Some days it’s the warm red of a hearth fire, the muddy brown of the fertile earth, the gold and yellow of bright sunshine, the blue of an azure sky, the green of growing things and the white of a flash of insight. It’s the rainbow, rightfully a sign in Genesis of forgiveness.

Tonight it’s my turn to give my spiritual authobiography in EFM. Have not written anything, but have given it a great deal of thought. On the work front, I have to go to the office to pick up files, turn in some paperwork and get ready for tomorrow. All visits are done for this week’s hearings. Have yet ANOTHER conference to go to this afternoon. (I am literally all conferenced out, LOL).

To catch up since Sunday when I last posted, Donna’s vocal recital was so beautiful, I was in tears. Despite the mushy stuff you see on this blog, I was raised to believe it was shameful to cry in public and I still have some sort of internal prohibition against that. But I could not help myself. Donna sang art songs from the beginning of the 20th century, many by Ralph Vaughn Williams, that were stunning in melody and lyric. Donna made them hers as only she can do. It was the best hour I’d spent in a long time!

Immediately thereafter, off to St. Michaels. I alternated between listening to the Tallis Scholars (greatest hits, LOL) and my CD of The Spark. Got into St. Michaels listening to an inordinate number of “f” words and crashing band sounds (good guess: NOT the Tallis Scholars). Drove by the house we used to rent there. It really looked good, but there were still a sh*tload of cars and trucks in the driveway, LOL!

The harbor was beautiful. I am so mad at myself for not taking pictures. My room was actually a 2-room suite, with a balcony overlooking the harbor. Darlene, Connie and I had some wine in Darlene’s suite and then went to dinner. I was not a good Doobie, but got back on the right foods the next day:) Next morning it was over to Martingham for the “Multi-D” conference. Mostly judges and masters. Nice to see them as human beings now and then (as if I didn’t all the time). Saw the PBS piece on kids aging out of the system. Damn it was depressing! I have a hard time with that; it makes you wonder if you do any good at all. Jennifer Renne’s presentation on APPLA (Another Permanent Planned Living Arrangement) actually had some good ideas on how to advocate for older kids – she is with the ABA now, but used to represent kids in MD, so she feels our pain, so to speak.

Got home Monday evening, crashed, then up at 6 on Tuesday to get to Annapolis by 8. Rode down with Connie and Louie (another woman with a WILD sense of humor). We left early, since the last presentation was one of the same ones we saw in St. Michaels. That conference was actually better for us. Lots of really good substantive law review, review of evidence law, and a discussion on the new TPR statute.

OK, knitters, I know I’m boring you to death here! Just bear with me!

Got back yesterday afternoon. John had already left for work. Answered e-mails, deleted a lot of e-mails (sorry), did a little knitting on Brie’s scarf, and then Kristin and Sonny came by. They were picking up a space heater for Kris’ place. After giving her the usual warnings, which she understands better than I do, they went out to dinner and took me along. We went to the Panda Buffet, so I could behave myself in terms of carbs:). We went out fairly late, but the food was still pretty good and we really enjoyed ourselves. I teased them about how old they must be to take an old fart like me out on their date, but it was truly fun. When we got back, they loaded up Sonny’s van and I was ready for bed. So I had a really good night’s sleep.

After EFM tonight, I hope I have the energy to clean this place – it’s a disaster area! That’s what virtually being away for 3 days does!

This morning, after finally lugging the summer clothes downstairs, I got some of my projects into a box to keep while I finish others. I decided having too many UFOs around was not good for my mental health, LOL, since i hate living in a pig pen. Still working on: FLAK and getting to first sleeve; Dan’s oversized sweater, Sabrina’s scarf (took the easy way out and cast on a gagillion stitches onto a circ. needle, alternating moss stitch with dropped stitch patterns. so far so good), Log Cabin afghan from Mason-Dixon knitting and the Prayer Shawl (am a little more than 1/3 done, since I’ve finished a skein of the yarn. It’s very soft and actually looking not half bad!).

When I have some decent progress to show, I’ll post pics.

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Author: fuguestateknits

Wife of one, mother of six, gram of five (so far) and lawyer for many young persons, I love to sing, read, knit and walk. My politics are somewhat left of Marx and I want to hear what you think, too!

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