Today was a very strange day….

I got up later than usual (after downing last night what I thought were two aspirin-free pain relievers, but were two aspirin-free pain relievers with some sort of sleeping pill mixed in!) to find that there were no shelters today – good! Met with lawyermd about her brief, now have a timetable and a more than equitable division of labor. Then met with DW and MSK, my boss and colleague respectively! D is one of those bosses who makes you feel that you can do the job. She has the best tips and is a wonderful resource. Now I just have to go out and DO it!
There are two things about my job that I find difficult at times, although not impossible: One is working at home. You would think that would be marvelous and usually it is. However, one’s family often thinks one is really not working and one is available to do all sorts of little things, like the wash, pick up drycleaning, run errands and vacuum when one really is unavailable to do any of those things and get one’s work done. Aaarrrggghhh…..
The second thing is managing other professionals who should know better about certain things, but don’t. It is so frustrating to deal with people who don’t communicate. This is true on a personal and professional level. Professionally, I’m dealing with a co-worker and personally, I am dealing with a wonderful person who I thought was a dear friend but who now for some reason unknown to me is acting like I have a highly contagious notorious disease! Once I can identify a problem, I like to deal with it constructively, but in both of the above situations, I cannot for the life of me figure out what to do. Correction: I know what to do in the first situation, but the second has me tearing my hair out.
So I have to hold on to that anger (in the first situation) and use it constructively to correct a problem that has just gotten worse. In the second, I have to (if at all possible) get to the bottom of the problem (if there is one – or if I’m totally looneytunes and there isn’t one – well, that’s another problem to deal with!). Or I will have to deal with intense sadness -exponentially more difficult because I can’t do anything about it. One good thing: the black cloud that enveloped me has dispersed somewhat. I think my original curiousity has also returned – that inquisitiveness that keeps me from succumbing to despair. Unfortunately, I haven’t figured a way to find out definitively if there is a problem or if I’m just being overly sensitive. Usually, wondering what’s coming around the corner truly keeps me going. Or perhaps I should say keeps me going insane. Insane is good. One cannot be too normal. God forbid! Never let it be said that I was normal.
And people wonder why I like to sit, muttering to myself while I play with two pointy sticks and strings of various shapes and colors……..
And I think I’ll go do that now……



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