Paul, I love you!


I got this in an e-mail from a dear friend, Paul, today!

God, she *be* looking over you. So remember – a big, Black lesbian has “got your back.” In the words of my friend LeMay (another member of the God as BBL Church), “Don’t make me come down there!’)

His view of God is so amazing! I love it when people push the envelope in matters of faith. Paul is a philosophical Taoist and constantly challenges me to greater faith in God’s will for my life. We went to Middlebury together. He was a couple of years behind me in school, but he is light years ahead of me in spiritual development.
His e-mail was such a gift to me today! I have hope for the first time in ages:)
I found the above symbol online – it represents Celtic Taoism – a melding of two religious traditions – just as Paul comes from the Celts, he is part of the Tao – is that right Paul? Or do I have everything miskerfluffelt?
Hugs,
Joan
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Trip to Michaels

Yesterday, I spent some cash – but not a whole heck of a lot:)

I picked up some things I needed ….. and bought some yarn. But I was good – I got acrylic yarn – good old Red Heart. Hey, why not? More bang for the buck. I also figure a lot of the stuff I’m going to knit really should be machine wash and dryable, right? Especially if I’m going to knit things for the poor unsuspecting grandbabies:) But a few of the skeins are for the Mason Dixon Log Cabin thingie -pics will be found on the knitalong site later today:). The other yarn may end up in a sweater or skirt. Last year I knit a sweater with a bunch of variegated purple/green/soft white yarn and I thought I’d pick up some green yarn to match it. The sweater I knit turned out way too big, so I gave it away to charity. There are a bunch of the poor who are obese – I oughtta know, I was – and at times still am – one of them!
Of course, the day before I went to one of my LYSs and purchased a bunch of interesting bobbins (E-Z Bobs – watch that spelling!) and Elsebeth Lavold’s The Viking Knits Collection – a classic I did not want to miss:) I didn’t buy any yarn, but the book was worth the trip.
So here’s a picture of the new addition to my stash – nothing to write to the Yarn Goddess about, but more color in my life nonetheless!
This morning, I organized the huge bin of yarn into future projects and put the Log Cabin project into a bigger bag -it’s going to need it. The downstairs is a mess ‘o projects, but it’ll at least be an organized mess, LOL:)
There’s another picture I’d like to show you. Yesterday, I was feeling really down about something and got a gift that put things into perspective. With it was a card that said – “Happy 30th. I will love you always.” How sweet was that? Had to run to court, but kissed him while he was sleeping to say thank you.
DH called out from his bartending job because his hip was hurting him so badly. He slept a little longer and when he woke up, we had breakfast for dinner – his breakfast, my dinner. His beverage was coffee – mine – Pinot Grigio (goes really well with an omelette:)) We watched Sidways a really sweet movie, actually. He was still so exhausted. His hip pain seems to keep him up – and no, he won’t go to the doctor because he doesn’t want to be told he needs surgery. I suspect the pain will eventually get him back there, but I will keep on nagging anyway. Why do the people I love make me crazy? It never fails to happen.
Well, today is going to consist of laundry, cleaning the bathrooms and knitting. Kristin is moving to a rowhouse in Hamden, this time with a couple of roommates, thank God! That place she had up on Calvert Street was a door or two down from drug deals. Hampden is also a place where drugs abound (where don’t they in this day and age?) but having a couple of other responsible adults in the house doesn’t hurt. Danny and Tori are also moving to an apartment in Laurel. Everytime our kids move, we get more, not less, things deposited in the basement. I hope they know eventually we are moving to a smaller place, good Lord willing and the creek don’t rise:) but we don’t mind helping them. Did I tell you I love my kids?:)
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Sometimes you just have to keep going on…..

Sitting here at the desk. I had to move the car so my daughter could get out of the driveway and I got a taste of how nice and cool it is outside! I love this time of year – and I AM going to go to the park and take a walk, even if only a short one. Today is one of those days, typical, nothing new, nothing particularly interesting and certainly not funny. I am still dealing with what I think may end up as a serious depression, but am fighting it tooth and nail because I hate feeling this way. As if I could do anything about the feelings that bombard me! Sadly, those feelings are not something I am comfortable enough to discuss here, but suffice it to say, I have decided to continue doing an activity that I dearly love and that provides me with so much spiritual and artistic fulfillment. The payment for this activity is dealing with an emotional waterfall every time I’m there. I have to be so careful about this because it’s a painful balancing process. Should the balance tip the wrong way, let’s just say it will be the end of me and that’s not something I care to consider:)
I have court later today. What I love about my work is that no day is typical. Each case involves a unique human being. I am never bored in my work. Thank God for that!
I also realized something today: that I love my children. Of course I knew that already – knew it from the first shock of emotion as I held my first baby in my arms. But I remembered it and that memory saved me from one of my darkest moments that could have been my last. It was like a memory that you carry in your body – it never leaves you.
So, like I’ve said many times, my curiosity keeps me going on – and my love for my children keeps me alive.
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thank you, Jim Wallis!

“Monday, September 25, 2006
Jim Wallis: There he goes again – this time Rev. Falwell compares Sen. Clinton to Lucifer
The nation is weary of the vitriolic and divisive political rhetoric that still comes from some on the Religious Right. In particular, the country is tired, truly tired, of Rev. Jerry Falwell. At the Religious Right’s Values Voter Summit, Rev. Falwell said that Hillary Clinton’s run for the presidency would energize the Right’s base more than Lucifer. This is also the man who said the terrorist attacks on 9/11 were God’s judgment on America and he specifically blamed feminists, homosexuals and the ACLU. Agreement or disagreement with Senator Clinton’s politics is not the issue. Personally demonizing public figures is the issue. Such political poison isn’t just bad for the Body Politic and the more civil discourse we so desperately need. It also simply isn’t Christian.?

Can I just vent a little here?

YES!!!!!!!!

Ahhhh That’s better…. Thank you.

We are all brothers and sisters, if not in the same faith, then in the same world. All but the most recalcitrant who have embraced evil as a way of life deserve respect. I do not appreciate, nor do I have any particular fondness for G Bush, but he is a human being and our President. He deserves the respect any human being would deserve. Unles he is one of the recalcitrant who have embraced evil as a way of life – but I seriously doubt that, secret prisons and sexual torture of enemy combatants notwithstanding.

OK, so this is the “State” part of FugueStateKnits. OH well.

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uH boy, now I’ve gone and done it

Have you ever hit the “send” button on that e-mail you really needed to sit and think about? I was growing tired of some crazy-making stuff that was going on and, I hope gently, made an observation about it, with the caveat that I could be dead wrong. On the surface, the e-conversations were fine. It was the undertow that kept knocking me on my you-know-what. I know, I know, this sounds cryptic and probably very silly. And sometimes I feel extremely silly, believe me. This is one of those days that I could really be stark raving mad but it’s not one of the times I can laugh about. If I hurt this person’s feelings, it will kill me. Literally kill me. I get that I’m not supposed to make others’ opinions of me more important than my own self-esteem. Truly, I get that. And yet the emotions are there and I so don’t need this right now!
Oh well, it’s not all about me, LOL:)
Went to Prayer Shawl Ministry and met some lovely ladies – many of whom are not much older than I, but from whom I feel light years away in some sense. The leader of the group is a very interesting lady with a very philisophical, erudite approach to knitting. What she had to say was always cogent and fascinating. I look forward to our next meeting next month. In the meantime I got a lot of knitting and praying done on the Prayer Shawl. I like to think of it as prayers being woven into the fibers.
I suspect there are a few people who read this blog and wonder why all the God talk and prayer talk. I do not expect or want necessarily, others to believe as I do. However, my faith is a big part of my life and I refuse to leave it at the door here. If you cannot agree, I respect that – and I really do mean that, having been on my own journey over the years – please take what you want and leave the rest:) But please don’t feel unwelcome.

Grandma Gig

It can be exhausting – but what a lot of fun! Have a colleague covering shelters for me this morning while I watch a recuperating grandbaby. Ruby is the younger sister, so often we don’t get much time just with her as we did with her big sister, Madison. The minute I gave her a hug when she came to the door, I knew she had lost weight from being sick, poor baby! But she ate pretty well for me – despite the whole grain french toast, LOL. After a morning of, yes, some TV watching, but it was Dora and Diego and Bob the Builder and Franklin, and some time with the toys (she loves that drum filled with musical instruments – I’m so proud!), she just collapsed, tired and exhausted while mom-mom rocked her to sleep for her morning nap, singing hymns to her. Good times.
I think the Grandma Gig is God’s way of helping us make amends for our parental days, LOL!We get to have fun with them and really appreciate them because we get them in relatively small doses. It’s funny, the extra stress of constantly watching a little one was with me for so many years that now when it comes back, I really see how tough a job it was to raise my own. Maybe I shouldn’t be so hard on myself. Hell, the kids are hard enough on me for all of us:)
JoAnna just left to go to class and then to work. Sabrina is at work. Betsy is at work. John is upstairs, sleeping, having done his usual double shift from 5PM to 7AM. Ruby is napping. The house is so quiet, I don’t know how to act. What a blessing to have this brief moment of silence, like an oasis in a stress-filled desert!
Yesterday, I drove to the Eastern Shore to the town of Fruitland, south of Salisbury. The drive over the Bay Bridge used to be a lot scarier with the construction going on. Now I no longer feel like I’m driving over a grating a mile above the water! The next shot is an attempt to show the other side going westbound, but it didn’t turn out so well. Also, the day was really brighter and the colors much more

vivid. The client is doing well, so it was a
pleasant trip. You can see from the remaining pictures how flat the Eastern Shore really is – in fact the only area of hills seemed to be around Cambridge, halfway between Easton and Salisbury!


And, as the sun set over the Maryland Eastern Shore, I drove back home, contemplating the week ahead:)

Last night I got very little knitting done, but did join in on the Mason-Dixon KAL – a terrific group and a very interesting book that make knitting look so easy – yeah right!
Today as soon as Ruby’s Mommy comes to get her after her training session, we’ll probably do lunch and then I’m headed for visits, 1st meeting of Prayer Shaw Ministry and EFM this evening. Then home to prep for tomorrow and Friday’s hearings.
If you read my ravings about the brief I worked on with LawyerMd, just a quick note of interest: In my e-mail box yesterday was a “BizQuote” that, wonder of wonders was from Dr. Seuss himself and I thought I’d end this entry with that quote:

That’s why my belief is the briefer the brief is, the greater the sigh of the reader’s relief is. Theodor Seuss Geisel (1904-1991) American writer and illustrator

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New person


Hi – I’m Joan and new to this blog – have already done 1 M-D knitting project – the ever famous ballband warshrag. It was easy and turned out rather well. Will post a pic when I’m able – Am now working on a log cabin afghan -and what a lot of fun it is turning out to be! Here’s how it’s looking so far (please excuse the quality of the photo). I’m enjoying the process as there’s very little counting that needs to be done – other than rows. If anyone has suggestions for additional colors, I’m all ears!
On my way to work, but will post later. Thanks, Cristina and hope to see everyone’s work. It’s a terrific book and the projects are real things we can all use:)
Have a terrific day, everyone:)
Joan