Decisions Decisions

Things are easing up just a wee little bit at work. Nice, but you’d hardly know it the ways things have been. Kelly is back on the job on Mondays and I appreciate that. I still have to worry about the balance of the cases, but I can live with that. It just seems that the clients have so many needs lately – again, I can live with that, too, just very very time-consuming. But that’s why they pay me the big bucks, LOL:)

Have been considering going back to school for the psychology, but wonder what my motivation is – something new to try to avoid the hard questions my job poses on a regular basis? I better really really think this thing through before putting our finances into yet another tailspin – assuming that will be the case. On another level, I may not get into grad school anyway. However, assuming I could get into the PhD program, it would truly be awesome to study psych – although my nearest and dearest would probably say I needed the therapy more than any potential patients would:)And really, as long as my kids are still in college, I don’t feel I have the right to financially burden the family with tuition or more student loans when my kids are working their respective ways through college.

On a different but related topic, I need to make a decision NOW about whether to take the EFM course. It’s a course for laypersons to learn theology. It costs $340.00 at a time when we are barely making our bills. I asked God to help me with an answer while I sleep tonight, because I cannot take that pressure any more. Objectively, it doesn’t seem right, but you just never know about these things. If I don’t have any major flashes of insight, I’m calling Su and letting her know I’m out for this year at least. Better that than get involved and then having the electricity turned off or worse! Still have to go tomorrow night because I volunteered to bring the food.

Right now I am having that sick feeling in the pit of my stomach that has been plaguing me a lot lately. I don’t know if it’s related to work, family or just my own neuroses. I find myself wondering if the kids, the grandkids, friends and family are OK. Then I just want to run – go out, drive, anything but sit here! Flight or fight – from/against WHAT?

Maybe that’s why I like that fugue thingie…..

My Jesus Murphy!


Published by fuguestateknits

Wife of one, mother of six, Grammy to eight (so far) and lawyer for many young persons, I love to sing, read, knit and walk. My politics are somewhat left of Marx and I want to hear what you think, too!

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